Sunday, December 7, 2008

Carbon dioxide, I need you now more than ever!

Last night marked the second time in two weeks that all soda fountains in the Deacon Jones Dining Hall have been out of order, forcing Lee University students to seek out healthier alternatives... Like juice. Or water.

The first time the disaster occurred, Sodexo staff placed signs on the machines that ambiguously read "out of order," as if some sort of plague or attack had left the fountains ravaged. This time, signs stated the real problem: A lack of carbon dioxide.

Is that it? There's no carbon dioxide in the dining hall?

College kids live off caffeine. In fact, we breathe out carbon dioxide, don't we?

If I have to give mouth-to-mouth CPR to a soda fountain just to put that CO2 back in the pipes, so help me I will.

I'll do anything before you can pry teeth-rotting, gut-giving soda from my cup-bearing hands.

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