Sunday, September 21, 2008

Is there a ketchup shortage?

Who had the audacity to remove ketchup and mustard bottles from every table in the Deacon Jones Dining Hall?

Now, when our hot dogs or french fries get lonely, we're forced to make the long trek to the corner of the dining hall to "push" these saucy condiments onto our plates.

Why? Is it cheaper? Were the bottles too hard to replace? Was it just plain too messy? Or is it a covert plan to ensure students get more exercise; a sneaky prevention for the freshman fifteen?

Whatever it is, it sure does get annoying.

Besides, pushing substances out of large metallic boxes seems a bit questionable to me. What if one day someone accidentally switched the sticker labels?

It starts with the sauces.

Soon we'll have to dine without silverware.

And if we're not careful, we'll be losing our cup privileges as well. That way we'll have to trek to the corner to squirt sodas directly into our mouths.

Perish the thought!

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